Friday, April 11, 2008

Caregivers Insight

Posted April 05, 2008 11:24 PMApril 05, 2008 11:24 PM

I have been the primary caregiver of my 77 year-old mother-in-law for 8 months here is a before and after break down of her condition.
Before
1. Frequent hospitalization/mental ward confinements
2. Weight loss to the point anemia (weighed 89 pounds)
3. Dehydration resulting urinary tract infections
4. Extremely violent/attempts to cause injury to others (butcher knives, axe, fire)
5. Expressions of suicide
6. Isolation
7. No interaction
8. Antipsychotic drug abuse (allowed to self medicate)
9. Wandering episodes
10. Allowed strangers into house
After
1. Frequent doctor visit (general and neurological)(no mental health visit)
2. Weight gain (12 pounds)
3. Constant flow of juices/water (not a single infection)
4. Mild out burst easily redirected with attention (able to distract with kind words)
5. No suicidal words unless nursing home is mentioned
6. Never isolated (allowed very brief period of time alone)
7. Constant interaction reads daily and almost any subject
8. Only medication for high blood pressure (as needed)
9. Allowed to wander in enclosed backyard with dog/daily walks with caregiver
10. Not allowed to answer door
Posted by at

4 comments:

Jaga Kut Niya Negus said...

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

Jim Broede
Posted April 05, 2008 11:38 PMApril 05, 2008 11:38 PM Hide Post
Sounds to me like you are practicing good vibes therapy. Like you, I know that some Alzheimer patients can get better. You and I are believers. That real good care-giving can make a difference. --Jim

My Blog: http://broedesbroodings.blogspot.com/
Jim Broede jbbroede@hotmail.com

Posts: 4883 | Location?: Forest Lake, Mn. | Registered: January 25, 2005

New Realm
Posted April 05, 2008 11:42 PMApril 05, 2008 11:42 PM Hide Post
Thank you, klcouncil.

You have indeed done a truly wonderful thing for your mother in law, and there's alot of love and respect coming through in your words.

Welcome to the forum. I look forward to reading many more of your posts in the future.

Diana

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain."

<{{{{<<
Hebrews 13:8
Posts: 3240 | Location?: Washington State | Registered: February 03, 2007

Johanna C
Posted April 05, 2008 11:46 PMApril 05, 2008 11:46 PM Hide Post
What a blessing for your mother, and how wonderful this has all turned around with your kind and diligent care. You are a marvelous advocate and are to be commended for your fine work and support. How wonderful this must feel for you to see the changes you were able to bring to your mother and her quality of life.

Many of us had been at the point at which you now are; but some of our loved ones over four to six years or so into their disease process went far beyond the interventions you have mentioned. How we do wish it could be different.

For those of us who have had these periods of grace with our loved ones similar to what you are experiencing; they were a gift to be cherished for as long as they could be. When the disease evolved far, far, light years beyond what all kindness, love, interventions, reformatting, refocusing, etc. could bring; then we entered another sphere of existence with them and had to move to the next step of loving care.

With all good hopes that this will continue to be your mother's wonderful quality of life with her dear daughter.

We don't fail our loved ones and we don't fail ourselves; we all do our best as intelligent, loving, educated, creative and insightful caregivers and when the dynamics evolve, we continue to succeed by moving forward with new ways to accommodate their medical, psychological and social needs with our love and our best advocacy.

This is a very difficult job and you are doing beautifully!

Johanna
California
Posts: 3259 | Location?: California | Registered: November 24, 2006

klcouncil
Posted April 06, 2008 12:17 AMApril 06, 2008 12:17 AM Hide Post
Thanks folks--- positive feed back opens the mind to better possibilities.

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

Summerskies
Posted April 06, 2008 03:40 AMApril 06, 2008 03:40 AM Hide Post
Yes, when we arrive on the scene and see what is going on then, yes we can have an immediate positive impact. However, as Johanna mention, and I don't mean to be a downer here, but the disease does change and morph and increase in complexity and many find that their help alone can no longer keep up with the needs of the LO with AD.
Posts: 454 | Registered: September 02, 2007

tdrodgers
Posted April 06, 2008 09:06 AMApril 06, 2008 09:06 AM Hide Post
My mother is in the final stage with 1-2 months left according to hospice. I am so very grateful that when my dad passed March 12th my husband and I brough my mom home after being placed in a assisted living for almost five years. She has been bedridden for over a year now and unable to communicate for the last five years as well as incontinent. I feel so thankful that she is not alone or sitting in her wheelchair as the Assisted Living but instead here with me to meet her needs with compassion. I know I am so fortunate to have this available to me bc not everyone can. I am able to have a sitter while I go to work and be with her all evening. God has been with me and I feel blessed.

tdrodgers
multidconstruction@comcast.net houston
Posts: 56 | Registered: February 10, 2008

Johanna C
Posted April 06, 2008 10:36 AMApril 06, 2008 10:36 AM Hide Post
Summerskies: You have stated it very well. I can remember, years ago, when my mother was in an earlier stage with moderate difficulties thinking that I was pretty super-cool and I sure knew how to intervene! Nancy-nurse being Nancy-nice. A bit smug, I think.

Well, time advanced and so did the disease process. Had anyone told me mother would have such issues, I would never have believed it.

But yes, dementia will continue to worsen and it does morph.

Some folks LO's do go more gently into that final stage, some go with moderate issues, but a large number of us will slay many large dragons and need to be at the highest level of care involvement secondary to the issues the dementia has brought.

How I wish that would not be so; but it is what it is.

Johanna
California
Posts: 3259 | Location?: California | Registered: November 24, 2006

Summerskies
Posted April 06, 2008 09:46 PMApril 06, 2008 09:46 PM Hide Post
*sigh* Yes Johanna. I was just reading the 2008 Alzheimer Report (on this site) and noted that the main reason for ltc placement is due to behavioural issues. It's not the heavy lifting or assistance when the LO with AD gets more chair or bed bound. It's when they are still ambulatory and/or perhaps not but the behaviour is what undoes both them and us. If I would have had 2 more people to help with Mom, one person for each 8 hours shift, then MAYBE we could have continued to keep her at home. With just me though it was made evident, much more quickly than I ever imagined, that I could not keep up with the behavioural issues that were putting both her and I in peril.
Posts: 454 | Registered: September 02, 2007

klcouncil
Posted April 06, 2008 10:33 PMApril 06, 2008 10:33 PM Hide Post
Just try good vibe treatment...
I saw this applied as child in the backwoods of south Alabama and it worked...
good vibe treatment can change the most aggressive person into a laughing person...
however and regrettably there is not much you can do once a person's brain cells are gone...
the point though is to provide the optimum quality of life before that occurs.

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

Debbie B
Posted April 06, 2008 11:18 PMApril 06, 2008 11:18 PM Hide Post
While everyone of our LO's will eventually die of this disease or something else, To bring dignity to their last years months or days is so important..

Klcouncil I very much enjoyed your before and after, and I know I have made a HUGE difference in my MIL's life as her caregiver.. She would of died a death without dignity if my husband and I wouldn't of intervened in her and my BIL's life..

And Johanna once again you have summed up so many emotions with all the different stages we all will go through. You have such a way with words and are such an asset to all of us.

thanks for putting it in type..

Debbie

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
Posts: 286 | Location?: Carbondale, CO | Registered: December 06, 2007

Johanna C
Posted April 07, 2008 02:25 AMApril 07, 2008 02:25 AM Hide Post
It is very EASY to provide the great quality of life before the brain cells are gone.

Once gone is when the true challenge begins. So many of us here have been meeting these challenges with great care for years.

Speaking of "vibes"; There were days I felt as though I was vibrating like a tuning fork!

I continue to be humbled by the very real, very caring and very loyal care providers here on the Forum.

Johanna
California
Posts: 3259 | Location?: California | Registered: November 24, 2006

Summerskies
Posted April 07, 2008 06:08 AMApril 07, 2008 06:08 AM Hide Post
*laughing* Vibrating like a tuning fork...
love that!
Posts: 454 | Registered: September 02, 2007

just exhibit love
Posted April 07, 2008 10:11 AMApril 07, 2008 10:11 AM Hide Post
Klcouncil

Your thread..is awesome..

for me..I have gone full circle with the woman..my husband calls mom..she passed last April..it does not seem a year ago..

the most important gift I gave myself..while being a cargiver..in our home..for over 6 years..was..

A good attitude..as that set the pace..for the day..the attitude I chose..gave..my husbands mom..a feeling of well being..my smiles..touch..and.."I'm ok..and your ok"..feeling..

and I have learned by this experience..called caregiving..what we give..comes back to us..

we must be the change we want to see in our world..I truly believe this..

our loved one during lucid moments..did not want to be a burden..and tears would come in my eyes..when she down deep..shared from her heart to mine..

I was blessed we had those moments..together..as they helped me..help her.. and she needed to say the words and I needed to hear them..in silence..from her heart to mine..and my husband loved me more..for being there for his mom..as she loved him first..and I cherished how he loved his mom..it was a reflection..of how he has always..cherished me..

working full x nights and my husband full x days..we together...kept balance in our life..with no vacations..no days off from caregiving for over 6 years..and as the old song goes.......If I had it to do all over again..I woud do it..for...Her..

she was a good mom..and we loved her..and did not spend..one moment ..focused on her alzheimers..we chose..to live in the moment one day at a time..

there is Life after alzheimers now..but we miss the woman..my husband calls mom and I called my little shadow..and I smile when I think of her..and our moments in time together..

we live..we learn..

Klcouncil..you rock..

take care of you..Love Rosie

just exhibit love
chocolate_candles@yahoo.com


"To the world you may be one person,but to one person,you may be the world"
Posts: 3820 | Registered: January 16, 2006

Debbie B
Posted April 07, 2008 01:57 PMApril 07, 2008 01:57 PM Hide Post
WOW Rosie, You are an awesome, loving and caring individual.. I am in awe of your strength..

May all the good things you have done forever come back to you tenfold...

Debbie

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
Posts: 286 | Location?: Carbondale, CO | Registered: December 06, 2007

klcouncil
Posted April 08, 2008 12:27 AMApril 08, 2008 12:27 AM Hide Post
[quote]A good attitude..as that set the pace..for the day..the attitude I chose..gave..my husbands mom..a feeling of well being..my smiles..touch..and.."I'm ok..and your ok"..feeling..[/quote]

I am humbled. Thanks.
klcouncil

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

klcouncil
Posted April 08, 2008 12:31 AMApril 08, 2008 12:31 AM Hide Post
Daily report---
went to the food store and (madear) got seperated from my son (markus 7)---when I looked back she was several feet away I motioned her to come and she came...
my question is how was she able to recognize me?
(It was my smile)---
klcouncil

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

Jim Broede
Posted April 08, 2008 01:26 AMApril 08, 2008 01:26 AM Hide Post
I've been reading your posts, klcouncil, with great interest and appreciation. We need more care-givers like you. You have your mind and your heart in the right place. --Jim

My Blog: http://broedesbroodings.blogspot.com/
Jim Broede jbbroede@hotmail.com

Posts: 4883 | Location?: Forest Lake, Mn. | Registered: January 25, 2005

Matnet4
Posted April 08, 2008 07:33 AMApril 08, 2008 07:33 AM Hide Post
klcouncil
Wonderful points you make!! I agree, just the sheer act of truly LOVING
a person will bring wonderful results. I know I learned a thing or two
by this thread.....not that I don't love my dear Father, but your thread
has confirmed what I've already been learning: that the more I express
my love for him, the better off he will be. Thanks.

Matnet4
Posts: 393 | Location?: New Jersey | Registered: November 07, 2007

Johanna C
Posted April 08, 2008 11:08 AMApril 08, 2008 11:08 AM Hide Post
klcouncil: I am very confused. In one post you mention caring for your husband's mother; in another, you mention carinag for your MIL while your WIFE worked.

Okay, now I can't get my "mental" image straight. Are you a boy klcouncil, or a girl klcouncil? Then I can understand the care writings a bit more clearly.

Have a great "caring" day,

Johanna
California
Posts: 3259 | Location?: California | Registered: November 24, 2006

skericheri
Posted April 08, 2008 01:15 PMApril 08, 2008 01:15 PM Hide Post
Klcouncil---Personally I don't care if you are male or female. As far as I am concerned one is as good as another. The only thing that matters to me is that after reading your posts I feel encouraged and have a smile on my face.

Welcome and thanks for sharing.

skericheri@yahoo.com
Posts: 1382 | Location?: NC | Registered: November 29, 2005

Jim Broede
Posted April 08, 2008 03:36 PMApril 08, 2008 03:36 PM Hide Post
Yes, it's the message that counts, klcouncil. You've got a good message. A winning message. Like I say, we need more care-givers like you. You have keen insight. --Jim

My Blog: http://broedesbroodings.blogspot.com/
Jim Broede jbbroede@hotmail.com

Posts: 4883 | Location?: Forest Lake, Mn. | Registered: January 25, 2005

New Realm
Posted April 08, 2008 03:54 PMApril 08, 2008 03:54 PM Hide Post
Awww! "FOLKS" with "GOOD VIBES"

Diana

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain."

<{{{{<<
Hebrews 13:8
Posts: 3240 | Location?: Washington State | Registered: February 03, 2007

klcouncil
Posted April 08, 2008 06:30 PMApril 08, 2008 06:30 PM Hide Post
Hum sexist comments!?

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

New Realm
Posted April 08, 2008 06:35 PMApril 08, 2008 06:35 PM Hide Post
No, I doubt that was how it was meant. It just got confused (I think) where you quoted.

see?

Posted April 07, 2008 10:27 PM
[quote]A good attitude..as that set the pace..for the day..the attitude I chose..gave..my husbands mom..a feeling of well being..my smiles..touch..and.."I'm ok..and your ok"..feeling..[/quote]

I am humbled. Thanks.
klcouncil

Ever since they took away our "quote boxes, colors, and bold lettering" things get confused.

If we're good boys and girls they just might give it back to us one day.

Diana

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain."

<{{{{<<
Hebrews 13:8
Posts: 3240 | Location?: Washington State | Registered: February 03, 2007

klcouncil
Posted April 08, 2008 07:22 PMApril 08, 2008 07:22 PM Hide Post
Hebrews is an excellent book thanks for the faith and the wisdom.
New Realm you are correct...
klcouncil

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

klcouncil
Posted April 08, 2008 08:21 PMApril 08, 2008 08:21 PM Hide Post
Daily Report----took trip to dallas for (madear) to visit with my grandmother (my grandmother is involved at the M L King jr senior citizen group in Dallas Texas)---she spent an hour visiting with the children and my grandmother---we went through downtown dallas looking at the people and buildings...
ride home through rural area---
attitude good---no bath---dentures out---relaxing with jazz music on in bed...
kc

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 08:48 AMApril 09, 2008 08:48 AM Hide Post
Daily Report---
MIL in room making beds---
quietly---no music on---
Meds to be taken (blood pressure) and (nameda)
(regular breakfast pancakes and half slice of bacon/ orange juice and toast---i hope to get around to cooking or maybe we will go with a small bowl of corn flakes and a banana) I like the later---

How good is Nameda (think i need to research)

good morning

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 09:42 AMApril 09, 2008 09:42 AM Hide Post
In technical terms, Namenda is an N-methyl D-aspartate (NMDA) antagonist that regulates the activity of glutamate in the brain. Glutamate plays a key role in memory and learning, but excess glutamate can lead to the disruption of nerve cell communication or nerve cell death.

That word glutamate scares me---is it the same monosodium glutamate---which our mind doctor tells us to avoid as a brain killer and bad fattener---(whew I need to diet)---
so if namenda contains a glutamate is that good or bad?
Just asking the hard questions.
We should ask for accountability as caregivers we perform the duty of nurses, doctor's. personal care givers, you name it---in fact we almost become the person we care for---
that being the case we are held to a very high standard---
It is good to log your thoughts record actions...(Honey nut cereal b/k sliced banana---skipped namenda today and last night--only med is b/p)
keep up with the effects of meds---moderate the environment---remember the person is sick---very sick...
whenever congress finally takes notice of us (the ones who account for and 8.5 billion dollar health industry) we need to know what to tell them---
fellow care givers do not allow any one area of your care to control the other---meaning that if you are having a problem with getting your mother to eat---don't focus on that to the point of not considering whats causing her not to eat---don't blame it on the sickness---
we need to know what the heck this epidemic is all about and we need to know fast---
the more we learn as caregivers the better able we are to protect, provide for, and prepare our families for the sickness that is taking away our-foresight...
study the history of old people and we can learn from our past---
klcouncil

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

New Realm
Posted April 09, 2008 09:43 AMApril 09, 2008 09:43 AM Hide Post
the Namenda, much like any other drug, is a "try and see" thing.

If you put Namenda in the search (purple "find" tab at top of page) you'll find where some folks have observed no ill effects, and some have observed some very awful, horrid effects. My DH has been on it two and a half years without problem.

Diana

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain."

<{{{{<<
Hebrews 13:8
Posts: 3240 | Location?: Washington State | Registered: February 03, 2007

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 09:45 AMApril 09, 2008 09:45 AM Hide Post
New Realm what do you think causes Alzheimer's?

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

New Realm
Posted April 09, 2008 09:55 AMApril 09, 2008 09:55 AM Hide Post
Several things. Many debatable perhaps. No definite known cause explains everybodies AD.

Environmental factors

other health, physical maladies are possible precursors. Head injury, stroke, alcohol abuse, genetics, heredity.

Different forms of dementia may evolve into Alzheimer's.

Alzheimer's still stands out as the "No known cause, No known cure" epidemic of the century.

Diana

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain."

<{{{{<<
Hebrews 13:8
Posts: 3240 | Location?: Washington State | Registered: February 03, 2007

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 10:04 AMApril 09, 2008 10:04 AM Hide Post
What about food?
Biological warfare?
Are people living shorter than they should?
How do smart people forget how to live?
How old is this disease---why is it growing?
kc

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

JRB
Posted April 09, 2008 10:38 AMApril 09, 2008 10:38 AM Hide Post
I think there are many factors, genetics, environment, etc. I believe we are seeing more of it because people are living longer and the effects of aging of the brain are being seen now because we are living longer. We didn't used to live so long, people would pass away from other diseases at earlier ages, sooner than the brain began to show signs of deterioration. I think it is pretty remarkable that our bodies continue to operate for sixty, seventy, eighty years and more. What other machines do you know that can operate for that long? Science and medicine have come a long way in figuring out how to keep hearts and livers and other organs healthy, and even transplanting them. The brain is a complex thing and research and science hasn't found all the answers to keep the brain healthy and disease free...yet. One day, I believe we will have those answers, unfortunately not soon enough for our loved ones or us.
Posts: 513 | Registered: October 16, 2007

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 10:52 AMApril 09, 2008 10:52 AM Hide Post
When we say people didn't live long who are we referring to---people in general or people in certain areas---
does anyone no the average age of the world 400 years ago?
kc

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

JRB
Posted April 09, 2008 11:01 AMApril 09, 2008 11:01 AM Hide Post
I think you can probably find your answer to your question if you look on the internet for mortality rates is past years. If you think about it, look at the diseases that have wiped out people in the past, but we have vaccinations for now, like measles, typhoid, influenza, polio, tuberculosis, Bubonic plague, even childbirth, more women died in the past from childbirth. You get what I mean. Science has evolved from the old days and what diseases killed people at earlier ages, cures have now been discovered. In general, people are living longer now. There are countries, third world countries who don't have the health resources we have available here in this country, and those people may have higher mortality rates at younger ages because they don't have access to the kind of health care available in this country.
Posts: 513 | Registered: October 16, 2007

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 11:14 AMApril 09, 2008 11:14 AM Hide Post
No I am really naive to the age question.
I am old testament kind of guy and I think man could live forever absent some unnatural influence...
I guess this is a question of life...
how long have people lived...
lets look at longevity...
just some ideas...



Daily report---(MIL) is back and forth up and down the stairs---she wants to clean kitchen (it needs it) I won't let her---in her room (master bed room with large windows over looking street and front yard---) reading the newspaper...
music on---some rambling)----

paper not working---given a book---about to go out side see you guys in an hour---
kc
Thx fo' carin'

kc
Thanks for the words.

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 01:00 PMApril 09, 2008 01:00 PM Hide Post
Daily report---walked the block for 20 minutes---shared yard detail MIL swept while I hoed, watered, and pulled grass---MIL swept entire drive way---and front walk had to be asked to stop
MIl give iced water sitting on proch with my five year old daughter---
breaking before lunch----
(caregiver down time cold pizza, one smoke break, 5 cherry tomatoes...and post a few thoughts...)
klcouncil

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

Oliver's mama
Posted April 09, 2008 01:26 PMApril 09, 2008 01:26 PM Hide Post
kc,

I have thought for awhile that all the preservatives in our foods can't be good.

I am reading a book called, 'Alzheimer's Unmasked' that addresses those very issues. Fascinating.

I also think major "mind trips" can cause the disease. They say Reagan was in perfect health until the Iran-Contra affair, where it is said he felt totally betrayed by his own people. In the case of my MIL, she lived almost 2 years with her youngest son physically & mentally abusing her. Once it was discovered, he was removed by the cops from her home. But she would barricade herself in her room at night - something she still does when she puts 2-3 chairs behind her front door & drags the recliner over to the slider door.

One year later, she started showing symptoms. A year after that, she was diagnosed. So do I believe this may be a possibility? You betcha. I'm not going to rule out anything.

Sadly, it brings us no closer to a cure.
Posts: 54 | Location?: Roseville, CA | Registered: October 10, 2007

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 01:37 PMApril 09, 2008 01:37 PM Hide Post
[quote]I have thought for awhile that all the preservatives in our foods can't be good.

I am reading a book called, 'Alzheimer's Unmasked' that addresses those very issues. Fascinating.[/quote]


Why would her son abuse her? I don't like the law getting involved---i often ask what would the person want not what would i want---
I talk to my mother in law daily about the problems she's been through and tell that i am working on getting things corrected as well on improving my level of care 100% daily---
you must enjoy it--- its a must that is a cure to the disorder the disease brings about---create simple order---even for yourself---work hard...
kc
(in reference to food statement)
I am open to any suggestions---all i ask is that we bring some facts to the table, truth, hard-work, support, and a genuine interest in finding out what the heck is going on...
this is a social terrorism and it hurts, maim, kills, and destroys entire families...
lets look at various factors and lets look at ourselves---
when something invades your life to this degree you need hard questions and hard facts---
no easy solutions...
klcouncil
thx fo carin

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

Oliver's mama
Posted April 09, 2008 01:40 PMApril 09, 2008 01:40 PM Hide Post
kc,

I agree 1000%

Maybe taking a more proactive course with my local politicians...I don't know, I have to do something...And you're right - it IS social terrorism!
Posts: 54 | Location?: Roseville, CA | Registered: October 10, 2007

Debbie B
Posted April 09, 2008 01:54 PMApril 09, 2008 01:54 PM Hide Post
Olivers mama,

I have to agree with you on major mind trips having some cause and affect.

My MIL was physically abused by the way BIL made her live in her own house, and mentally abused by the way he treated her for years, and we never saw what was really happening until it was to late..

Since we "rescued" her last year from her own home, I have thought about how much her treatment has played a roll in her current situation with AD.

She also has lingering fears and habits caused by the years he resided in her home... (25 years) The worst which she I think has finally gotten over, is everytime she is eating she would see cockroaches crawling on her plate and try to flick them off like it was an everyday thing...

freaked me out that it never freaked her out... Was she so used to having to do this... Thankfully she no longer does this, I think I finally convinced her there were no longer bugs crawling in her food...

It also took us months to get her to flush the toilet, BIL didn't have running water in her bathroom.. Don't know for how long...

No wonder the sweet women has AD.. I've often wondered if she crawled into her own mind to escape her life with him. And never let on to us when we talked to her.

Oh well just my thoughts..

Enjoying your daily reports KLcouncil, They are so simple yet show the complexity of a caregivers daily routines.

Debbie

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
Posts: 286 | Location?: Carbondale, CO | Registered: December 06, 2007

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 03:13 PMApril 09, 2008 03:13 PM Hide Post
daily update for debbie----
son home from school had to walk in the rain a ways---cant pick him up due to caregiving we all work together---
well i flunked the food test i cooked pancakes and bacon---MIL had one small pancake and one strip of bacon---water to drink.
eating raisins now and reading a book in her room---down the hall from mine...(update in room looking out window)--no rambling very quiet and thoughtful---
(i broke my diet and ate grits, bacon, and eggs---wife will be home early today around 6pm pm I am looking forward to the help)

klcouncil

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 07:23 PMApril 09, 2008 07:23 PM Hide Post
daily report---
took a semi-nap as mother set talked and roamed around the living room---no bad actions---calm and lucid talking with wife downstairs---
dinners on red snapper, mixed vegs, boiled shrimp---brown rice---
I am in the chill zone---hopefully off the clock----MIL watching brer rabbit with children---
klcouncil

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 09:50 PMApril 09, 2008 09:50 PM Hide Post
final report...
Wife help MIL with bathe and dentures out---
no problems---
read with children while MIL in bed in same room---
she's tried--worn out and listening to classic music as she drifts off---
klcouncil

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

klcouncil
Posted April 09, 2008 10:29 PMApril 09, 2008 10:29 PM Hide Post
[quote]I know I am so fortunate to have this available to me bc not everyone can. I am able to have a sitter while I go to work and be with her all evening. God has been with me and I feel blessed.[/quote]
tdrogers

thx fo carin---it is good to be the hand that helps guide them---
kc

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.

4/12/08, 3:15 PM
Jaga Kut Niya Negus said...

still getting my head str8---
what the hell is the world coming TWO---or into
i went to a website that suppose to provide an outlet for caregivers...
people there were allowed to talk about anything---
well i decided to talk about caregiving---my main intent was to show people my real day to day level or care...
as well to show that America lacks gross accountability in the private health care sector---
the way we treat our old is deplorable and should be the number one issue on the presidential ticket!
politics aside---
more on politics=this website banned for expressing my level of care and for asking for more accountability in the private/family health care sector and for questioning the competency and insight of private/family caregiver who resort anti-psychotic drugs to control the minds of the ones the care for and i asked for transparency in laws governing family caregivers and for the caregiver to be transparent themselves...
I was walked on by the caregivers their and then boot by the website administrator ...


Below is what we face as family caregivers===
no help bad help ugly help---
empty help and hallow help===social terrorism...
you can read the thread yourself a thread i start and asked no one to come to and read---
yet i am punished for what others come to MY thread and say???about the care i am actually providing???
amazing---forget the constitutional implications---lets just deal with simple logic....
why wasn't my caregiving credentials questioned???the only thing questioned was my decision to care w/o anti-psychotics===they could have maintain that my MIL (is) truly AD. An argument we wish to prove that my MIL is not AD, just an old lady put on hard drugs and recovering quickly from the damage done by those drugs!!!
Or that anti-psychotic drugs are not need to manage a 77 year old 100 pound lady---attentive care is needed---sustained interaction and insight===
strong family support and organized relax environment---(realistic family settings tension resolved quick order in place daily---relaxed order means doing thing together to restore order, cleaning, lawn work, reading, watching, walking, eating, sound and silence, no television (controlled viewing DVD, Netflix))---


Klcouncil:

This email is to inform you that you have been suspended from the Online Community for a minimum of 2 weeks. You have received several emails regarding your recent activity in the community. Your post today stating that a thread which had been removed by this administration “has been moved in full just” was completely inappropriate. If a thread is deemed inappropriate for this community by the administrators, it is unacceptable for a member to re-create the thread. This is blatant disregard for the decisions of this administration and the guidelines of this community.

The Alzheimer's Association
Online Community Administrators
From: Online Community
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2008 1:05 AM
To: str8mack@mac.com
Subject: Removed Thread

Klcouncil:

Your thread entitled “Caregivers insight” has been removed from the Online Community Caregivers forum. The thread became a source of negativity and conflict in the community, which only serves to distract attention away from legitimate posts in need of support and information. The purpose of this community is to provide support, understanding and information to people affected by Alzheimer’s disease. In the short time that you have been a member of this community you have made multiple posts which have been found to be provocative and unsupportive. In some of your posts it seems the intention is to provoke or incite members, which is quite disruptive to the community. We hope that all who wish to join and participate in this community can do so in a positive and respectful manner. We would like for you to continue as a member, but this type of negative posting must cease immediately or you will be removed from this community. If you have any questions, feel free to contact us.

Sincerely,

The Alzheimer's Association
Online Community Administrators

i went to this association i went to share my concerns and my problems---(the thread was heavily viewed and the people brave enough to share positive feedback did so at the risk of being slammed by other (so-called) private caregivers---
(search caregivers insight or klcouncil)

4/12/08, 3:18 PM
Jaga Kut Niya Negus said...

still getting my head str8---
what the hell is the world coming TWO---or into
i went to a website that suppose to provide an outlet for caregivers...
people there were allowed to talk about anything---
well i decided to talk about caregiving---my main intent was to show people my real day to day level or care...
as well to show that America lacks gross accountability in the private health care sector---
the way we treat our old is deplorable and should be the number one issue on the presidential ticket!
politics aside---
more on politics=this website banned for expressing my level of care and for asking for more accountability in the private/family health care sector and for questioning the competency and insight of private/family caregiver who resort anti-psychotic drugs to control the minds of the ones the care for and i asked for transparency in laws governing family caregivers and for the caregiver to be transparent themselves...
I was walked on by the caregivers their and then boot by the website administrator ...


Below is what we face as family caregivers===
no help bad help ugly help---
empty help and hallow help===social terrorism...
you can read the thread yourself a thread i start and asked no one to come to and read---
yet i am punished for what others come to MY thread and say???about the care i am actually providing???
amazing---forget the constitutional implications---lets just deal with simple logic....
why wasn't my caregiving credentials questioned???the only thing questioned was my decision to care w/o anti-psychotics===they could have maintain that my MIL (is) truly AD. An argument we wish to prove that my MIL is not AD, just an old lady put on hard drugs and recovering quickly from the damage done by those drugs!!!
Or that anti-psychotic drugs are not need to manage a 77 year old 100 pound lady---attentive care is needed---sustained interaction and insight===
strong family support and organized relax environment---(realistic family settings tension resolved quick order in place daily---relaxed order means doing thing together to restore order, cleaning, lawn work, reading, watching, walking, eating, sound and silence, no television (controlled viewing DVD, Netflix))---


Klcouncil:

This email is to inform you that you have been suspended from the Online Community for a minimum of 2 weeks. You have received several emails regarding your recent activity in the community. Your post today stating that a thread which had been removed by this administration “has been moved in full just” was completely inappropriate. If a thread is deemed inappropriate for this community by the administrators, it is unacceptable for a member to re-create the thread. This is blatant disregard for the decisions of this administration and the guidelines of this community.

The Alzheimer's Association
Online Community Administrators
From: Online Community
Sent: Friday, April 11, 2008 1:05 AM
To: str8mack@mac.com
Subject: Removed Thread

Klcouncil:

Your thread entitled “Caregivers insight” has been removed from the Online Community Caregivers forum. The thread became a source of negativity and conflict in the community, which only serves to distract attention away from legitimate posts in need of support and information. The purpose of this community is to provide support, understanding and information to people affected by Alzheimer’s disease. In the short time that you have been a member of this community you have made multiple posts which have been found to be provocative and unsupportive. In some of your posts it seems the intention is to provoke or incite members, which is quite disruptive to the community. We hope that all who wish to join and participate in this community can do so in a positive and respectful manner. We would like for you to continue as a member, but this type of negative posting must cease immediately or you will be removed from this community. If you have any questions, feel free to contact us.

Sincerely,

The Alzheimer's Association
Online Community Administrators

i went to this association i went to share my concerns and my problems---(the thread was heavily viewed and the people brave enough to share positive feedback did so at the risk of being slammed by other (so-called) private caregivers---
(search caregivers insight or klcouncil)

4/12/08, 3:18 PM
Jaga Kut Niya Negus said...

When a caregiver can turn a life around that in and of itself is a reward---a pleasurable accomplishment. Caregivers must never allow anyone to take that away from them. Always maintain your confidence in the care you provide.
You will make mistake, you will get tried, you will get upset---you will not quit.
Assess yourself and all those who are affected by the caregiver, person cared for, and others in the immediate environment.
Remember you set the standard and tone for the quality of care received---never fail yourself and you will never fail those you care for.
Reward yourself by knowing that you are showing the world how you wish to be cared for when and if the need arises.
Love what you do---
Respect what you do---
Improve what you do---
Record what you do----
And you will do fine.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

klcouncil
Posted April 10, 2008 06:44 AMApril 10, 2008 06:44 AM Hide Post
daily report one---
MIL still asleep--- no reported wandering last night---
music remained on and still is on---
wonder if it helps her relax...
well let me enjpy my free-time---
good day...
kc

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

klcouncil
Posted April 10, 2008 08:33 AMApril 10, 2008 08:33 AM Hide Post
update report---MIL up and moving in her room--dressed herself made two beds---
gotta wet bed (my sons) not hers---
music on in room---
bp and pulse check both high---
given daily (pill) for bp(need a better means of preparing low blood pressure diet any suggestions---we are low salt. olive oil users, need more leafy veggies, fish almost daily)
time for breakfast and early walk see you in an hour or so
thx fo carin
kc

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.
Posts: 100 | Location?: Round Rock | Registered: April 05, 2008

just exhibit love
Posted April 10, 2008 08:46 AMApril 10, 2008 08:46 AM Hide Post
klcouncil

thank you for the daily report..of caregiving..

good morning..may this be a good day..for you and your Lady's mom..love Rosie

just exhibit love
chocolate_candles@yahoo.com


"To the world you may be one person,but to one person,you may be the world"
Posts: 3820 | Registered: January 16, 2006

klcouncil
Posted April 10, 2008 09:56 AMApril 10, 2008 09:56 AM Hide Post
thx rosie---
actually i am concerned we just completed our early walk and small talk on the front porch and usual sweeping and trash detail---and i notice her blood pressure is a little high--and pulse i am giving her a chance to relax and I will check it later MIL is eating rasin and having juicy juice...
any suggestions on the bp should it go up with exercise and small tasks like sweeping...
was it the cup of coffe?
kc

If we fail our elders we fail their offspring.

4/13/08, 9:56 AM

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